Ulaan Baatar

There had been a few tears the night before when we thought I was leaving, so, with a mighty hangover, I left and got through the border.

On the Mongolian side, I waited for our rep.

She turned up and got me a lift with 2 ladies in a Mitsubishi 4x4. A fitting end. At least I was going to make the whole trip overland, even it meant finishing it in someone else's car. The drive itself took us through the Mongolian countryside. We stopped to pick up other hitchers and to try Yaks milk - never again.

For some reason they took a liking to my belly and patted it most of the way.

After 5 hours, we entered the grimness that is Ulaan Bataar. The outskirts are an industrial nightmare. The place stinks of pollution and I reckon I smoked a full pack in 6 miles. Generously, my hosts dropped me off at the finish line - outside the State Department Store. I celebrated my arrival with a cold beer and was taken to the office to be awarded with my certificate for completing the rally.

I was tired, I needed to look for a hotel - this time, I decided to treat myself.

I am now in residence at the Hotel Ulaan Baatar 'Mongolia's only 5 star hotel' (Did they award them to themselves I wonder?).

Apart from mucky carpets and the view over the government buildings that were burnt out a few weeks ago - its not so bad.

So I'm here.

I went to Dave's Bar on the grand square and managed 2 beers before my eyes started to close. It was raining hard.

I got back to the hotel unscathed. Somehow I got undressed and into bed.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

LOGNOM

Another grim breakfast sidelined at our hotel and it was time for some housekeeping.

Alex and I went separate ways to look at the delights of Ulan Ude - probably the shortest book in the world if it were ever written. I checked updates from the rally - bad news, still no cars allowed in at the Altan Bulag border. We waited until 2pm when the office in Mongolia opened and I called Tom. No change, we would have to leave the car at the border and get a taxi the last 350km.

I got into the car and told Alex....

He responded:

'Listen, I'm being serious here, lets just drive it back'

'Errrrrr.........'

'Nick, we could be in Moscow by Thursday, you could fly back from anywhere before then.'

'Alex, I came here to get to Mongolia.'

'Do you mind if I take the car? Oh, and you'll have to lend me $500.'

'No problem, I think you're mad, but I love the idea'

And so it was decided, Alex would embark on the Lognom rally (Work it out yourselves).

We agreed to drive to the border and left immediately. I was chuckling the whole way. We had agreed that I should drive the last 220km to the Mongol border.

We arrived at 6.20pm. Horror, it was closed until 9am.

So we went to the restaurant next to the border and started to drink beer with 'Baikal' Vodka chasers. By 12am, we were dancing and careening around the car having a last listen to Pink Floyd - the locals were amused.

We spread a tarpaulin out next to the car and put sleeping bags out.

I was 'merry'.

R & R

We took a leisurely drive along the South side of lake Baikal only stopping to try a local delicacy - Onul fish, smoked. Yum!
The fish was being sold by 3 rather odd people: 2 very drunk men and their mother (who had a full beard and refused to be photographed). They were very proud of their wares and started dancing around drunkenly holding up handfuls of smoked fish.

Next, we bumped into two dutch registered Mercedes mini-buses. One was being towed by another. They were were the property of a bunch of Dutch farmenrs and their sons. One of the buses was being towed by the other and had been for the last 700 miles. They were hoping to take them both to Mongolia and sell them. We didn't have the heart to tell them that the border was closed to foreign vehicles......

We arrived in Ulan Ude at about 4pm.

We met the head of the Mongolian motorsport federation who tried to get us a room at the Mongolian Embassy - it was a purple and white monstrosity in the middle of town. We were refused.

So to another ex-soviet hotel but a chance to do laundry and get clean.

We went to the local 'mall' and had a few beers before heading out for a night on the town. We met one of the local 'players' who was, to put it mildly, full of sh*t.

He promised us a good night out - Alex accepted but I couldn't bear to be around the drunken obnoxious idiot.

The next morning I heard that Alex had only lasted another hour before realising that the guy was all talk and no action.

The long haul

We headed from our overnight stop towards Krasnoyarsk. The car was pretty bad and we just had to grin and bear the noise.

Alex and I needed cash so we went into Krasnoyarsk. A really user-friendly place.

Now I realise that my colleagues and my family are probably reading this so all I can say at this point is that Russia is full of beautiful women. Krasnoyarsk is the dead centre of Russia and they are in abundance here.

When we had managed to pick our jaws up from the floor, we tried to get out. It was rush hour by this time.

We pulled up next to a Toyota and and asked "Irkutsk?' (Another 1500 km to the East). The woman in the car laughed. Then I think pity took over. They lead us to the motorway - it must have been and hour and a half. We were very grateful. They warned us about the road east of Kansk - this was the second warning about this on the same day. We were advised not to attempt the road at night.

As we headed east, we started to notice large covoys of cars heading the other way. All were taped and protected against damage. At first we thought they were being test driven - we were later to find out that they had driven from Vladivostock and were all 2nd hand Japanese imports.

We tried to find either a place to sleep or a hotel - no luck and we had got to Kansk.

We decided that there was only one thing for it - to press on.

We should have heeded the warning. The road was a nightmare. The first 27 kilometers took about 2 hours. It was scene resembling no-mans land in Ypres. Amazing.

Then the road got better, then worse etc etc.

I slept while Alex made steady progress, at dawn I took over. By this time the brakes were starting to be a real concern - we had been using a combination of hills, handbrake and gears to stop us up to now, but this was not reliable any more.

We carried on and racked up 1300 kilometers before stopping at a garage outside Irkutsk.

We looked at the brake assembly expecting carnage - it was nothing of the sort - we had lost a brake pad.

After a fruitless search for the real parts, the mechanic decided to modify a brake which closely resembled ours.

When he came back from the workshop - it popped into place like it was made for the car. Rejoice!!!!! No more grinding noises.

We were charged 300 roubles but paid 500.

We drove on through Irkutsk and stopped on a hullside to the South. The place looked like a hunting lodge but had spectacular views over Irkutsk. After eating, we pressed on for Lake Baikal.

We carried on over the hills until we finally saw Lake Baikal. It was getting dark and we had to drive to the Southern shore to look for a place to camp. We drove down a series of unlit tracks which ended in wierd places with the locals eating picnics in the pitch dark drinking Vodka. We even came across a wharehouse party in the iddle of nowhere.

After driving around looking for a place to camp (and meeting some weird and wonderful people) we slept in the open on a shingle beach next to the lake.

I went out like a light.

East is East

We woke in the suburbs and headed into town to re-unite team Allegro and to eat.

We all met up and headed for a cafe. From here, Allegro and Hyding to Nothing would convoy to the Mongolian (Western border), Alex and I were to head to Novosibirsk and beyond.

After eating we all went our separate ways.

Alex and I made progress and were through Novosibirsk late afternoon.

We headed on to Kemorovo where, at some point, the car started to emit a terrible grinding noise - the front brakes has finally gone. The noise was terrible. We stopped in Kemorovo and tried to find a Nissan dealer - it was too late. Hotels were exhorbitant so we drove on until we came across a rather isolated motel.

A large Russian lady greeted us and were were shown to our rooms (300 roubles). We passed stuffed bears and shabby sofas on the way to our rooms.

To my shock, we were both sharing rooms with other people. I went to bed clutching my 'man bag'. I heard my fellow occupant come in and ignored him. I soon heard him snoring - I relaxed enough to drop off.

Taxistan

Breakfast in the Semey Hotel was quite a surprise - enough of one to leave me in shocked awe and unable to face it.

It was 2 eggs perched on top of 2 slices of gristly spam - not what you want to start your day.

I walked to find an internet cafe - too early, but I got to walk through a rather shabby park which had an eternal flame.

Later, and back to the cafe which was opposite a local hang-out called 'Istanbul Picnic'. At least 5 other rally teams were in town and we had quite a meeting. We decided that we would go to the Russian border with Ed and Ben of team Hyding to Nothing'. We also met Vicky, Pat and (?) in an Austin Allegro. They were waiting for the evening as their visas did not start until the next day.

We passed a lazy afternoon and at about 4pm, Low Beam and Hyding to Nothing headed for Russia.

A short drive later and we got to the Kazak side of the border. There was a queue of cars including 2 Spanish teams.

We went through the Kazak side and were met with quite a sight. The taxi team were in 'no mans land' and had set up their own country 'Taxistan'. There was a desk made from a pile of bricks and a car bonnet. They had their tent set up. The reason being that their visas were still 4 days from starting - they were stuck. What was worse - the older man with them - Jimmy was really sick (Heat exhaustion and deydration). Also, we found the Allegro team had decided to leave Semey and had beaten us to the border!!!!?????

After some humming and Ha-ing, Vicky joined Hyding to nothing (Ed and Ben were 'chuffed to bits') so that her team would take sick Ed to Barnaul in the morning as his visa was valid. The 2 lads would have to sit it out in Taxistan until there visas became valid.

We drove into the night on fairly decent roads stopping for Shashlick and, some free Vodka courtesy of Alex's geniality.

At 4am we camped in the suburbs of Barnaul.

Priyama!

Up and in to the cafe. (after fixing our first puncture - well, Alex fixed it - I am relegated to curious bystander - this was a fairly noteworthy part of the trip as it was our first 'breakdown'. Not bad for 6700 miles.)

Here's the problem, menus in English disappeared along time ago.

So what does your average Kazak have for breakfast?

Who knows, but we got beef and onion soup!

We drove East and connected with the main road to Georgievsky and, hopefully, on to Semey (Semipalatinsk). What follwed were 13 hours of mind-numbing, pot hole dodging, crater-traversing boredom. I guess I haven't mentioned it too much but there is a lot of driving involved. At this point we have come 6700 miles and theres still another 1500-2000 to go.

Occasionally we have to ask directions as the road splits with no signposts. Thankfully, the most common reply is "Priyama' (Straight ahead).

The first part of the final leg was really appaling. As one rallier said, it looked like the road had been bombed. We nearly lost the car in a pot-hole.

We arrived in Semey at 10.30pm. Absolutely exhausted.

We found Hotel Semey, another soviet-relic which had been refurbished to look like a bad 80's retirement community.

Too tired to finish my 2nd beer - I headed for bed.