Nothing can stop us now

Another milestone reached over the weekend and we haven't even got the car to the start line yet.

Finally, the beaurocracy is finished. But it wasn't without its controversy. I had to make the decision to abandon the arrangements made to meet an Iranian National at the Barzagan border of Iran/Turkey, so that he could arrange our Carnet to get the car through. The decision was reached after there were simply too many requests for contraband and money. The idea of taking a bottle of Scotch into Iran was the final straw. I started to have visions of Midnight Express and the sleepless nights started.

After some frantic face-booking, and some help from fellow ralliers (Many thanks), I contacted the good old RAC who, in typical friendly manner, are going to sort out the Carnet in 10 days. So, without the need for loss of extremities, we have customs clearance for Iran.

I want to point out that in our desire to have Iranian endorsements on our passports, we have paid a heavy price. Over £400 in official paperwork to spend what will be a couple of days in Northern Iran. It had better be worth it.

The visas are also completed thanks to a mammoth effort by the rally's 'Visa Machine', but the real purpose of this entry is to pay tribute to one of the erstwhile unsung heroes of our quest to get moving.

Yes folks, a big shout goes out to the man in the Green Tree with the pint of Pitchfork. Lets hear it for the big D.A.D. My longsuffering father, Malcolm Ward. The man who, through his generosity, has ensured that his (not so) little boy, gets safe passage through about 10 countries.

Pater, I am, as always, in awe. Thankyou.

We are now less than 3 weeks from d-day. Then the fun really starts.

You know where to put those beams? Low of course!

Fancy a rear view?

Sorry, she asked that I show off her rear end - marvellous!

Isn't she lovely?

Its a week since my last my post. I've been a little preoccupied. I have to report that I'm truly madly deeply in love and its taking up all of my time.

Here she is. I managed to persuade her to pose for me. She's not shy and she even agreed to do it without clothes on.



What a beauty eh?

Left turn only!

Hello all and welcome to another exciting instalment in the adventures of two large men in a very small car.

I took delivery of the car yesterday and drove it from Wincanton to London.

First, I want to say that I'm really chuffed, yes, really chuffed with the car. Andrew and Alex have done us proud, however, I feel in the interests of providing you, the reading public, with as much information as possible, I should point out a few comedy aspects of the car.

1. Sharp left turn if left to its own devices.
2. No horn.
3. No self-cancelling indicators.
4. Loud squeak when entering built-up areas.
5. Radio only plays cricket commentary (Even if there's no cricket on!)
6. Loud knocking on full steering lock.

I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really feel that Mongolia is within our grasp. So, to all you naysayers, I offer the two fingered salute.

On a nicer note, It gives me great pleasure in announcing that we have fulfilled our obligations to charity by raising in excess of £1000. The total was reached with a very generous donation from my mum!

So, a big thankyou to Ursula Ward, the orphaned children of Mongolia will sleep well tonight.

This doesnt mean that you cant still donate, after all, lets not lose sight of the fact that this is all being done for a good cause.

Finally, I got a bit of a ticking off from the ball and chain about the lack of acknowledgement for the support coming from 'down-under' (Sorry Tonia)

So, Hans, Cindy, Patricia, John, Christopher, Ricky, Donna, Jackie, Neil and all the other antipodeans who have not been mentioned by name, I say, g'day and thanks for the Aussie good wishes.

Also, this is my chance to dedicate my part in all of this to my daughter, Anna. Dont worry my love, one day you'll wake up and realise that daddy really should have been committed to that institution after all and there really was nothing you or mummy could ever do to cure him!

Anyway, all the platitudes over, the task is at hand!

Stay Low Beam.

Large Donor Please

Its been a while, too long. Especially as there have been some developments.

Here's a quick round-up of the most important news

1. Car

The car has arrived and is living in Wincanton. I'm going to pick it up next week. Its a 1996, 5-door, white, Nissan Micra. Alex and his brother Andrew have been giving it the once over and making it ready for the installation of the magic tree. It falls 2cc within the 1-litre rule and, according to Andrew, is a 'good runner'.
Andrew, we'll give you the full verdict from Ulan Bataar.

2. Visas/Red Tape

We're up to 5 each. Including Russia and Iran. Only a few more to go and we'll be ready for the off on the 19th July.
Nick is in negotiations with an Iranian national to arrange a Carnet de Douane to get the car through Iran. His request for contraband has been firmly and politely refused as I have become quite attached to my body parts over the last 43 years and feel that losing any extremity in return for even the best sngle malt is a tall order. Sorry Hossein.

3. Sponsors

We are pleased to announce that our sponsorship is going to plan. If you're thinking of donating, try this link http://www.willwemakeit.com/lowbeam .
In the meantime, a big thankyou to Liz O'Brien, Moray Watson, Colin Ward and Andrea Ward for their generous support for the cause.
Also, a big thankyou to Andy Hilton for the Jerry Cans and also to Malcolm and Mairead for the security 'stuff' (say no more).

So, in keeping with the spirit of the trip 'Be unprepared' we have done precious little else. Apart from the mandatory European Safety equipment and a rudimentary First Aid Kit, I'm making a small pile of suitable underwear/sundries. That should see me as far as Bucharest. After that I'll be on the goat skin cod pieces.

Keep it Low Beam.

Time to learn a language

Its been some time, but there's been a few small developments. The visa applications are all in. This was a monumental task involving 8 application forms requiring a phd in International politics. Anyway, its done and there's a real sense that we are finally on our way.

There is however, one small fly in the ointment. In my eagerness to get the route sorted, I purchased (at great expense) a Russian Road Atlas. The atlas was sent from Florida and I received it last week. I should have read the small print in the advert - the whole atlas is in cyrillic. I cant understand a word.

The car is resting in a yard in Wincanton. I'm looking forward to being introduced to her/him.

So, all in all, there's real progress. We're now only 3 months away from 19th July. The tension and excitement is building and, with our departure drawing ever nearer, I hope to post a little more often.

In the meantime, I need a basic Russian phrasebook and a petrol stove.

Keep it Low Beam

Lucked out

We are sad to report the failed bid on the stove. An alternative is being sought.

On the plus side, we have agreed a route which will take us through Europe, Turkey, Iran, Azerbaijan, Turkmenistan, Uzbekhistan, Kyrgystan, Kazakhstan, Russia and then on to Mongolia. The cost in Visas is over £500, but we decided that it was worth it. The route is approximately 8,000 miles and takes us from the relative calm of the european road network, to mountain tracks and rutted paths of Mongolia. All this in a trusty Nissan Micra.

Basically, we have decided that, once the visas have been bought and paid for, we are ready to depart with our Magic Tree. Essentially, we are seeking to be the least prepared team in the entire rally. A testament to middle aged apathy. We intend to prove to these Johnny-come-latelys that a couple of stout fellows can give them a run for their money and get a decent sun-tan in the process.

Watch this space, there is plenty (not) to do. Plans are afoot and decision are to be made.

Stay Low Beam.